say what i gotta say…

Oiiik! Oiiik! Oiiik!

Ah, bukan, Kawan. Tentu saja itu bukan suara babi yang sedang terjepit posisinya saat opung saya yang sudah rabun tengah menghunuskan parangnya untuk menjadikannya sangsang (baca: saksang). Dan tentunya tak perlu jugalah saya menjelaskan apa itu sangsang… ‘Cause I do believe you are smart enough to understand it by now. Hehehe.

Dan seperti yang mungkin kawan-kawan sudah ketahui sebelumnya, (terutama oleh kamu, iya kamu, alah gak usah nengok kanan-kiri! Saya tahu kamu sekarang lagi nyindir saya gak kreatif karena sok ngikutin Andrea Hirata pakai kata ‘kawan’. Iya kan? Tapi memang iya sih, hehehe), anyway, oik adalah cara orang Belanda menyebut hai.

So what’s the first thing crossing your mind hearing the word ‘Holland’ or ‘the Netherlands’? Yup, same here. The fact that they have ‘baby sit’ our country for about 350 years, oh, and have I mentioned THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY years???

Tapi sebagai seorang debater (ah, kawan, betapa intelek terdengar kata tersebut) yang selalu melihat masalah dari segala sisi, saya mencoba mengekspansi perspektif saya yang terkotak tentang Belanda, dan tahukah kau, kawan, bahwa:

1. Ada 16 juta sepeda di Belanda, ini hampir sama dengan jumlah penduduk Belanda. Hal ini menunjukkan kepribadian penduduk Belanda yang praktis, mandiri dan peduli lingkungan.
2. Dataran tertinggi di Belanda hanya setinggi 323 meter dan sudah disebut gunung! (Kebayang dong noraknya mereka kalau ngeliat gunung-gunung di Indonesia J)
3. Belanda merupakan negara non berbahasa Inggris pertama yang menawarkan program studi dengan menggunakan bahasa Inggris sebagai bahasa pengantar, sehingga memungkinkan ribuan mahasiswa internasional mengenyam pendidikan di universitas-universitas dalam negerinya yang mutunya diakui dunia.
4. Bioskop-bioskop di Belanda menyajikan film-film dari seluruh dunia dalam bahasa aslinya. Meskipun saya yakin film-film tersebut pasti ada subtitle-nya, tapi secara umum fakta ini menunjukkan bahwa penduduk Belanda menghargai keberagaman.
5. Masih berkaitan dengan ‘keberagaman’, karena letaknya yang strategis Belanda merupakan pertemuan kebudayaan Inggris, Prancis dan Jerman dan sebagian besar penduduknya berbahasa Inggris dalam kehidupan sehari-hari! (Ck ck ck… truly a global community!)
6. Ah, tak perlu pulalah saya menyebutkan karya dan apresiasi seni orang Belanda yang mencengangkan. Sosok-sosok sekaliber Anne Frank, Vincent van Gogh dan DJ Tiesto bermunculan dari negara yang luasnya hanya 41,000 km² tersebut. Oh, oh, don’t forget Parkpop! Parkpop adalah festival musik internasional terbesar di Eropa yang diadakan di Den Haag setiap bulan Juni yang harga tiketnya: GRATIS… TIS… TIS… TIS alias kaga bayar, cuy! Cihuyyy!!!
7. Dalam bidang pendidikan, total jumlah dana yang disediakan oleh Pemerintah Belanda untuk mahasiswa internasional adalah sebesar 5.2 juta per tahun. Dan Indonesia adalah salah satu negara yang penduduknya berkesempatan meraih beasiswa-beasiswa internasional yang disediakan, seperti HSP Huygens, Erasmus Mundus, StuNed dan NFP. (Ayo, kita apply!!!)
   

   it's me in front of a dutch colonial building in kotatua...

So, based on the above statements, let me make my stance clear. I believe:

There are more to the Netherlands than its historical injustice towards our country. If we look further, we’ll see that: “The Netherlands show (please notice that the verb is in present tense) significant appreciation towards multiculturalism and education.”

In other words, studying in the Netherlands which is famous for its quality education gives us chance not only to acquire knowledge and competenceon our chosen subject, but also provides us the opportunity to appreciate multicultural society a.k.a University of life where we learn to value differences positively.

Kembali kepada persoalan babi terjepit tadi, oik sebenarnya dibunyikan ‘Wi’, jadi tak perlulah kau khawatirkan soal keselamatanmu, kawan, karena opung saya masih sangat tajam pendengarannya…

parkpop

p.s: Saya pribadi sih ngincer LUF Scholarship for master degree, tapi apalah mau dikata, kawan, skripsi S1 saya saja belum kelar. Huhuhu…

Sources: Nuffic Booklet, July 2006.

Edensor by Andrea Hirata, 2007.

Pic taken from: nm.gisecurity.nl

Today has been fun. Today, finally, YES, finally we have ended our PPL, well not literally because I still have to chase some students for their remedial, tapi at least, acara makan2, basa-basi, dan pemberian hadiah udah berakhirlah…

Berkuranglah satu beban lagi…

Today has been fun. I spent my time with my kosan mate, we dined out (ditraktir The Atik) and went to movie (the city of ember- which was a bad idea).

ultahnya teh atik

Well today probably my last night in this kosan and it has been a wonderful experience with the girls. They have been like sisters to me, sisters I’ve never had and wish to have…

Malemnya maen kartu (tepuk nyamuk) sampai tengah malam. Teh B’don lost so many times that she ended up smacking any hands that got on her way (Ghea’s was the one got beaten so many times hahaha). Oh iya, mereka sempet2nya nyuruh gue pake kerudung dan ngetawain gue ampe puas L. Teh

I’m gonna miss them. Miss all the controversy of girls-only dormitory. But I’ve learned though. Girls are tougher to hang out with especially when you grow up with two older brothers who has never noticed that you are a girl.

New year. No more PPL. No more kosan

What’s next? I hope new challenging, interesting and lovely things.

Walaupun gagal jadi sarjana umur 20 tapi semoga ada hal yang lebih hebat lagi dibalik kegagalan ini… I trust you Lord, I always do.

Sedang senang hari ini.

Knp?

tak tahu juga.

Sedang ingin tersenyum saja.

Mungkin… Cuma mungkin ya… mungkin karena sebentar lagi PPL selesai

Mungkin karena kemaren habis belanja ampe kaki gue pegel sampai sekarang sm sahabat2 gw…

Mungkin karena dapet dress lucu + catokan (akhirnya) walaupun sampai sekarang gak tahu cara pakenya, ampe nanya2 anak kosan (yang gue pikir lebih feminim dari ge) tapi tetep gak ada yang bisa membuat rambut lurus gue jadi curly. ANEH SEKALI.

Mungkin karena akhirnya gue akan kembali tinggal dirumah!!!

Mungkin karena hari ini, keluarga gue lagi ngumpul lengkap minus abang gw, tapi berhubung gw lagi ngambek sama dia karena dia bawa notebook gue tanpa bilang2 so dia gak diitung, at lest for the mean time

Mungkin karena… i’m simply h.a.p.p.y.

I guess we don’t always need a reason to be h.a.p.p.y, right?

p.s: or maybe, there is something that i dare not to admit nor mention but has actually made me smile

I would like to be soft and warm

I would be terrified to be that way

I could be hurt if I were soft and warm

I could be hurt by something other than myself

It is harder to be soft than it is to be hard

“a million little pieces”

Akhirnya nyampe rumah juga, setelah 5 hari nemplok sama anak labs di Subang.

And how was my experience?

Well, I’m going to say it was great or whatsoever, good things happened and so did bad things (and most or them happened due to ‘PPL’ status obviously).

Tapi cukup seru kok tinggal di satu rumah di desa yang sederhana bersama 12 orang anak yang selalu memanggil gue dengan sebutan ‘kak-eh-bu-eh-miss’ berulang-ulang Belum lagi kita harus tidur kaya ikan asin yang bertumpuk-tumpuk disatu ruang tamu yang tiny. Cewek-cowok udah kaga ada batasan, yg penting tidur! Secara seharian udah pada tepar semua, belum lagi gara-gara cuaca yang super dingin, wuihhh terpaksa makin dempet deh. Tapi tenang, sebagai guru yang non-cabul, gue dapat memastikan nothing happened among my students, their seniors and… me. Hehhe.

One more thing that I’ve learned from the experience is that those teen movies about popular kids and the like is actually not very distance with the truth.

(Unbelievably) There are really girls (mostly) who dedicate their lives to talk bad about somebody else, and some of them happens to be my students. They talked about one of their friend and how her face looks like ‘PEMBANTU’ and how they couldn’t get how she cud have a boyfriend with ‘that’ face and how they claimed that SHE is ‘GAMPANGAN’! And lots of bad things about other people.

Gosh… I wish I could say something to change their perspectives, but I didn’t do it. I dunno why. Am I scared? Or it’s just me- not giving a damn about them?

The certain thing is I know that I sud have said something to help them appreciate others better- cause that what a good teacher sud have done -I guess… Well, I’m still learning…

Well, i’m trying VERY HARD not to judge these-so-called-high-class students cause i know it’s hard for them to hold on to VALUES that we -common ppl- believe. Cause they started their lives in a comfortable or even wealthy lifestyles. They dunno how exhausting it is to go to school by P57 everyday. So no wonder they feel lazy to go to school even though they have at least AVANZA waiting for them in the garage.

I can’t blame them for what they have become. All i can do is sharing my values with them… though not all of my values may be valuable…

It’s kinda weird to think how I’ve changed.

Or even kinda scary.

It’s no longer a problem for me to sleep anywhere.

Either in my flat, some friend’s apartment or even at home.

The uncomfortable feeling, which I used to have when I had to sleep not in my own bed, has gone.

And somehow I feel as that uncomfortable feeling gone, some parts of me have, at least, changed in someway.

I’m longer being a baby that misses her mommy all the time. And worst my mom doesn’t even bother if I’m NOT going home for weeks. Positively thinking, she TRUSTS me, regarding me as AN ADULT. Negatively thinking, she doesn’t give a damn about me.

Yeah, it’s probably just me bein a DRAMA QUEEN. But I saw a movie last night of how four generations of a family cud never be sure that the parents really loved their children, cause the words “I LOVE U” and “I CARE FOR U” were never spoken. And how that gave impact to each child’s emotional state.

Well, that’s probably it. I’ve changed. I stop having pity for myself. I now dare enough to say out loud that no body really cares about me (though I don’t believe that’s true, even though my mind thinks so). It’s me, NOW, dare enough to face the worst. To admit that I deserve the worst- NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT ME. To believe that God’s plans are beautiful in HIS time. And that if I pass HIS test, I will finally lucky enough to GET the greatest gift of all… being LOVED.

Come back to the fact that I’ve changed. It’s scary to face the fact that u may not matter THAT much to others. But at least, I’m facing it. Though, not knowing whether I’ll win the battle or not… Yup, I REALLY AM a DRAMA QUEEN.

Teacher: Okay, students, today we’ll learn about COLLOCATION. Does any body know what COLLOCATION means?

Students: (NGOBROLLLL)

Teacher: No body knows?

Students: Miss, GAMES!!!

Teacher: (narik napas) Okay let’s play, just ten minutes okay?

Students: YES, MISS!!!

Teacher: (I gave them one of my ‘stupid games’)

(ONE) Student: BORING… BORING…

(OTHER) Students: (EXCITED) One more time, MISS!!!

Teacher: (Gave another ‘stupid game’)

(ONE) Student: Huuu…. BORING!

Teacher: (Narik kerah baju anak itu, tarik ke dinding, dan merajam anak itu… dan kemudian tertawa sadis… HAHAHAHA….)—– dunia khayal

Me: (Narik napas). If my games are boring, let’s just study.

Students: (NGOBROL LAGI)

Me: Somebody, kill me please…

Lagi-lagi sebuah kontradiksi.

At the moment I’m teaching students of a well-known school (or so they say) in the morning and a maid at night.

And all I can say is that… I would never have chosen the latter one if I have to choose between the two.

Why?

Simply because I think, it’ll be easier to teach these educated, talented, rich, full-facilitated teenagers…

Not to mention the prestige, as well as the FEE.

But obviously this blog wouldn’t be so interesting if I do the expectable.

Yep, I prefer the second one.

Why?

Simply because it’s easier to teach a person who respects you and really in need of your teaching instead of teaching rich pranks.

Not to mention I teach in the prestigious apartment in Jakarta where one ELEVATOR serves only one room.

As well as the fact that I earn more than 171 times more money than in the SO-CALLED well establish school.

Gosh!

Well, emang sih disekolah kaya itu gue cuma PPL, and I really don’t expect the money (though I need it). I’m expecting hospitality. Such a BASIC thing. But they fail to provide.

“Untuk guru-guru PPL jangan jadi beban sekolah…” –Kata Mutiara dari NyoBes-

Er… HELLO? BEBAN? MUNGKIN MAKSUD IBU “PEMBOKAT”???

Besok sudah puncak acara!!!

Excited! Nervous! Hope everything turns GREAT! Gee, i just love this blood rushing moment, yes call me weirdo! hahaha

Pembatas Alkitab sudah ok. Makanan ok. Para Pelayan ibadah ok. Slide…oops… still on going but i’ll hope it’ll be ok. I wish to have more time to make everything better but time has flown… TOMORROW IS LESS THAN A DAY AWAY!

Btw, i’m listening to this song…

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens
I’ve been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I’ll bring fire in the winters
You’ll send showers in the springs
We’ll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I’ll be in love with you.
I’ll be in love with you.

Sings by this guy

The boy with beautiful voice

I feel flattered by that song (kalau ada yg mau nyanyiin buat gue itu juga hehehe)

But for the mean time, i’ll sing the song for THE ALMIGHTY JESUS. L I’ve been in love with you Father Cause YOUR love has been GREAT!

Tadi pagi gue nonton live presidential debate antara Obama dan McCain, gile keren banget. Gaya keduanya dalam berdebat benar-benar relax dan sportif, gak ada atmosfer gontok2an sama sekali walaupun keduanya sama2 membuat negative campaign untuk mencekal lawannya. Well, I hope this can serve as a proof for skeptical people that debate doesn’t means ending up with a pointless brawl.

Dan salah satu pertanyaan yang menarik perhatian gue adalah – well gue gak inget kata2 persisnya, tapi intinya menanyakan- apakah Obama dan McCain setuju menempatkan “acceptable dictator” untuk memimpin Irak. Well, the contradiction here is dictator is a powerfully negative word (remember Hitler? Or even Putin? Or mebbi Husein?) While on the other hand, the addition of “acceptable” makes the two words become a somewhat softened phrase.

Dan ini mengingatkan gue sama exhibition debate yang pernah gue lakukan beberapa waktu lalu. Motion waktu itu kira-kira begini: THBT strong dictatorship is better than weak demoracy. Motion yang menurut gue agak mirip dengan pertanyaan yang harus dijawab oleh dua capres A.S itu.

And the hard question is how would you defend the “strong dictatorship” concept?

As a prime minister in the debate, gw (harus) mendukung konsep strong dictatorship instead of weak democracy in… our beloved country… Indonesia.

The picture of the issue was: the local government elections that caused demonstrations or even anarchies and how the government failed to respond to these local chaoses and how the ppl distrust and disrespect the government’s policy that did not suit their personal interests.

And the major argument was: Weak democracy prevented the government to do everyday-decision-making let alone major-decision-making processes. For a country as unstable as Indonesia, strong dictatorship political system facilitates the decision-making process required to make the country stable. Finally, once the country became stable, the program of democratic political system could be put into action.

Again, debate has taught me to see how a powerfully negative word such as “dictatorship” or worse “strong dictatorship” could have strong positive impacts (though there are conditions, e.g. we have to make sure that the ‘dictator’ in this case really aims to build a democracy and not turning into a power-maniac)

Kembali ke dua senator AS yang sedang berdebat, none of which (as far as I could grasp) explicitly mention their choice, except when McCain said that the country (Iraq) needed a strong government (whatever it may means).

So, what about you? Which one do you choose? If you haven’t heard my arguments, which one do you go for? Strong dictatorship or weak democracy? Why?

P.S: let’s learn to acknowledge the power of reasons before jumping into any conclusion or decision…